We’ve had cats in our home for twenty-six years, ever since we moved into our current home and discovered it had mice. Many cats have come and gone over the years, and we’ve loved them all. Three months ago, our last remaining cat disappeared. She was an indoor cat who hadn’t gone outside in over five years. She’d been with us for fifteen years, and had seen many cats come and go.  All we can think is that she knew she was going to die and went to find some quiet place outside. We think she was trying to be kind. We still miss her.

     Last week, we decided it was time to bring a new cat into the house. My husband went to the Humane Society with instructions to find a black cat, over a year old. He could get two if he found another he liked. He was on the phone with me while he looked at first one cat, then another. There was a black cat with a tiny white patch on her chest who let him pet her and then followed him inside the cage as he looked at other cats. He felt she was the right cat for us, so the papers were signed and she was “adopted.”

     Even though we’ve adopted strays and cats from shelters, my husband still asked what we should do to help her settle in. He was told she should be put in the bathroom for a day or so until she settled because if she got into a tight place, she might not come out again. So, she was put in the bathroom with a litter box, dry food, and a bowl of water. 

     We expected her to meow a bit, then settle in for the night. Nope. She wanted none of it. She meowed, she scratched, and she was determined to get out NOW. She was more upset in the bathroom than she was when we took her out of the box. So, we closed the door to our son’s bedroom, where she might find some tight places, and let her out. We kept a very close eye on her as she checked out her new home. She ate some food, had a drink, and looked around. She found her safe space in the closet behind the cedar chest where she had a small box on either side of her and felt protected. We knew she wouldn’t get stuck and couldn’t get hurt. She felt safe and she was safe. 

     She slept there for a few hours, then explored some more. She would let us scratch her under the chin, or roll over and let us scratch her belly, but on her terms, not ours. It reminded me a lot of when the kids were little and we brought home new pets. The rules are the same for children of all ages. We had to remind our adult son, and ourselves, as the cat slowly adjusted, that we could only pet her if she was okay with it, and we had to stop when she pulled away.

     The first day, every time there was a noise, she ran into the closet. The front door opened, she ran into the closet. Someone came up the stairs, she ran into the closet. It was her “safe” place. If someone tried to pet her when she poked her head out, she backed up and pulled away. We had to stop, to back off, and leave her alone. She needed to feel safe there and she wouldn’t if we went in after her.

     We spoke to her a lot. Often, when we’d say “hi,” she’d meow in response. She got more comfortable with scratches under the chin or on her belly, but she was still hesitant and we’d respect her desire not to be touched. She decided our bed was hers, and was more comfortable with attention there. The second day, she even cuddled with my husband when he slept—as long as he didn’t touch her. She found the window, knocking a few things over until we made room for her. She was getting used to us because we didn’t try to push her, we let her adjust at her pace.

     We still had to respect her rules. Don’t touch her tail. Don’t pet her. If she pulls away once, leave her alone. Don’t touch her when she’s eating. Don’t pick her up. Don’t go after her to give her attention. Her rules. We were her humans, and we had to learn what she liked, what she would allow, when to stop. We watched her as she grew more comfortable, more affectionate. 

     By day three, she no longer felt the need to hide. She would accept more attention, still on her terms. She spent more time on the bed and we had to adjust because she now has “her” spot. She doesn’t like to be bothered when she’s sleeping. All things kids of all ages need to learn. 

     By day four, less than 72 hours from when we brought her home, she was fully integrated. She is very happy, she feels safe and loved, and she is home. She has a wonderful personality. Straws are not safe around her. They are her toys. She won’t play with the toy bird my husband bought her, but she loves straws. Even if they’re in a soda. At least she only chews on them.

     While the cat does have to get used to our routine, we have to adjust some of what we do for her. And we have to respect her. She’s not a toy to play with, or a doll to carry around. She’s a living creature who needs us to love her, feed her, and protect her. Especially from other humans. Pets love unconditionally, and we have a responsibility to treat them with love and respect, to make sure they feel safe and are happy.

     She’s a cat, yes, but she has her own preferences, her own likes and dislikes. The more we show her love, respect, and consideration, the more she trusts us. It’s always good to remember that our furry friends need our protection and they need to be treated well. Especially when we have kids.

     When we adopt an animal, we take on the responsibility to take care of them, to love them. I hear that cats have more problems with this than dogs. They’re returned to the shelters more often than dogs are. I don’t know why. You don’t have to walk a cat. Give them food, water, fresh litter, and loving attention, they’ll live a long, happy life (especially if you keep them indoors). They’ll love you in return. They’ll cuddle with you and they purr. Did you know that a cat’s purr can have a calming effect on a person? They’re wonderful pets. It’s always good to be reminded of that every now and then. 

     Adopt rescue animals. The shelters here have an abundance of cats because of the early spring and good weather. They need more people to adopt cats. So, hopefully when Kiki gets more comfortable, we’ll introduce another cat to the family. But not until we think she’s ready for it. She doesn’t seem eager for another furry friend right now. Some cats just don’t. In this, too, we’ll wait until she’s ready.